Codependent relationships show a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy, and one or both parties are dependent on their loved ones for fulfillment. Anyone has potential to be codependent but some studies show people who have past trauma or abuse/neglect from parents are more likely to become codependent. This is because people tend to internalize subverting their own needs to please parents, abusers, and later on partners. Here are some signs that you may struggle with codependency in relationships:
-A Tendency to do more than their share because of an exaggerated sense of responsibility for others actions.
-Fear of Being abandoned or alone that can increase the difficulty of making decisions and accepting change
-Hard time opening up and identifying feelings because of a lack of trust in others and one’s self
If you’re reading these signs and like ope… I’m feeling some of those things ask yourself these questions from psychologytoday.com and if you want more questions go through the questions on Mental Health America
Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
I am not a trained psychologist, and am not here to diagnose you. If you are connecting to these questions and characteristics, I would recommend finding online or local counseling resources to help process and sort out what you may be thinking and feeling.
If this is something you’ve been working on and aware of, consider the following to analyze how you’re processing, growing, and being aware of your actions.
-You are putting your own wants, desires, and needs first. This is allowing you to connect to your inner-self and build self-confidence.
-You are stepping away from abusive behavior, such as being a caretaker and an enabler, and it allows you or you and your partner to get away from unhealthy relationship habits.
- You are getting better at responding instead of reacting. This looks like you setting clear boundaries, can tolerate others opinions, don’t tell other thoughts impact your self-worth, and say no/accept nos.
We all have things that we are working through and it doesn’t make us unworthy, broken, or messed up. It just means we are growing, learning, and changing everyday. Below are some resources that go further in-depth about codependency and nationally available online counseling resources!